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Home » Skills » Assertiveness Skills: Definition, Characteristics and Types

Assertiveness Skills: Definition, Characteristics and Types

October 26, 2020 | By Hitesh Bhasin | Filed Under: Skills

Have you always wanted to speak up for yourself? Are you looking for the right ways to express your feelings freely without losing temper? Then you need to work upon your assertiveness skills.

In the simplest form, being assertive is nothing but being able to assert yourself effectively to get things done.

So, if you do not want to walk away from any meeting or a negotiation session regretting that you did not get what you deserved, you need to hone your assertiveness skills.

Being assertive is a quality of communicating your opinions, perspectives, thoughts, or emotions confidently without being aggressive or passive.

When it comes to the most crucial life skills, assertiveness is, for sure, placed at the top-most position. While thinking of some of the most successful personalities in the world, whether in politics, business, or science, you cannot think of a single person who is not assertive.

From Martin Luther King to Nelson Mandela to Bill Gates to Elon Musk, no one is meek or passive.

To rise to the top, it is crucial to be assertive. It will empower you to stand up for yourself, but in the process, you will not be stepping on to other’s shoes.

You will be able to express yourself directly, clearly, correctly, and in a considerate fashion.

This post will take you deep into the world of assertiveness skills, and help you understand how you can incorporate these skills to be confident, healthy, and well-adjusted individuals.

Table of Contents

  • What are Assertive Skills?
  • Types of Behavior in Conversations
  • Definition of Assertiveness Skills
  • Building Blocks for Assertiveness
  • Characteristics of Assertive People
  • Advantages
  • How to be Assertive?
  • Eliminating Unassertive Behaviors

What are Assertive Skills?

Conversations are an integral part of our lives. There exist interviews in all walks and for various purposes.

There are different ways of communication, and one of them is a direct conversation.

In a candid discussion, people stand in front of each other and talk. There are crucial roles of tone, expressions, and body language in such a conversation. It makes it more exciting and multi-dimensional.

If you want a meaningful discussion in a very healthy and peaceful environment, you need some basic skill set. A crucial part of the skill set is assertiveness.

Assertiveness can be defined as a type of behavior laced with firmness and confidence. The skills of assertiveness are fundamental to strike the right conversation.

To understand assertiveness more lucidly, you should first look upon different types of conversations that human beings deliberately or inadvertently do-

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Types of Behavior in Conversations

Types of Behavior in Conversations

The way you converse depends on your behavioral patterns. The types of conversations are broadly classified into four types.

1. Passive

It is a type of behavior where you do not communicate anything. This type is not considered strong and bold; instead, it is a type of weak personalities. Many people behave passively to be likable.

If you agree with people without causing any fuss, it is considered polite by those who do not like to consider other points of view.

2. Aggressive

This type has characteristics that are contrasting to the characteristics of passive people. Aggressive people are open about their thoughts and do not mind voicing them out in any situation.

They find peace in putting their opinions out there, and they do not care about what other people think about their aggressive attitude.

3. Passive-aggressive

It is a hazardous type of behavior, as it is very ambiguous and confusing. The passive-aggressive people do not tend to put their opinions out there but cannot sit idle and be okay with others’ views either.

It is a very tricky space since they use sarcasm and make ambiguous remarks on people or ideas they disapprove of. People around them need a lot of work at guessing what they mean and what they want to convey.

4. Assertive

It is the nicest yet the firmest type of communication. Assertive people are those who express themselves in a company as a bold yet confident and honest way.

There is clarity in their speech, and you feel like hearing them out and taking their views and suggestions into consideration. They do not tend to dominate or degrade any other point of view but put their opinions out with the utmost firmness.

Definition of Assertiveness Skills

The skills of communication which involve direct delivery of statements firmly and confidently can be termed as assertiveness skills.

These skills are used to advocate your rights and transparently express your thoughts. You can defend your views calmly and politely but with firmness and resolve.

There is no place for demeaning or degrading any other opinion. Still, there is a convincing attempt to put your ideas out there for people to understand and hopefully agree to.

Building Blocks for Assertiveness

Building Blocks for Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a great virtue. It comes to use in workplaces as well as in various personal settings. Here are some necessary skills you require for building assertiveness.

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1.Honesty

This virtue is essential as if you are honest in communication, you will be more relatable. People would believe you more and would want to listen to you. If you put up the pretense and represent someone who you are not, it will not be honest, and that will take a toll on the impact your communication will make.

2. Respect

It is of the utmost importance. Many times, it is not what you say that matters, but it is how you say that makes an impact.

No one likes disrespectful people. If you say things in a rash and harsh manner, people will not want to hear you out. More people will hear you out if you are respectful and have a genuine understanding of the things you are saying.

3. Self-control

Self-control is that quality that sets you apart from the aggressive and passive people. Aggressive people have the least self-control, while inactive people exercise unnecessary restraint and sabotage their individuality.

Assertive people strike the right balance of where to keep quiet and where to speak up with firmness. This self-control gives them an edge over others.

4. Accountability

Being responsible in their speech and their demeanor is the quality of assertive people. Assertiveness lies in speaking up for what is right and standing by the rights of yourself and your colleagues or the people around you.

It also includes owning up to your mistakes and apologizing for the same. This quality makes assertive people stand out from the rest of the crowd.

Characteristics of Assertive People

Some skills are essential and indicative of assertiveness. Given below are some of its characteristics.

1. Body posture

The body posture is crucial as it indicates your mood and the resolve with which you are speaking.

2. Tone

Aggressive people have a louder and thunderous tone, while passive people tend to have a shaky voice. Both of these create a negative impression. Hence, if you want to be assertive, then you need steadiness in your voice and tone.

3. Eye contact

Eye contact is an essential part of communication. People tend to judge their concentration and determination through this factor. If you maintain eye contact while speaking, you are known to be confident and fearless.

4. Gestures

A huge part of body posture comprises gestures. Gestures form the languages and words you do not convey verbally. That is why it is necessary to use appropriate gestures while communicating assertively.

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5. Content

In assertive communication, everything depends on what you have to say. Content is the king in any conversation. Even if you follow all the guidelines, but have no fixed point to make, all of these factors are futile.

That is why you need to have explicit content to put across.

Advantages

Assertiveness skills are of the utmost importance in any conversation to establish excellent communication between two parties.

1. Enhances problem-solving

Problem-solving is a great skill. It requires people to understand your points very well and work on the solutions you have proposed. Here, assertive communication is of great use.

2. Makes better managers

Managers are those who can use all the resources optimally to get the maximum results and outputs. Assertive people are obeyed and trusted more, and that is why they make better managers.

3. Helps in negotiating a win-win situation

A win-win situation is the one in which both the parties are in profit, and there are no significant losses or disheartenments to any one of the parties involved in a situation.

People who are good at assertive communication can find common ground and negotiate in such circumstances.

4. Boosts confidence

If you are of aggressive or passive nature, you seem to get under-confident while speaking up in front of a large crowd. Assertiveness helps in building confidence.

It gets you confident in your skin and put forth your views firmly. Confidence boosting is a great advantage of assertiveness skills.

5. Enables liberty in making decisions

If there are passive or aggressive people around, there might be narrow-mindedness in the team.

Assertive people are liberal, and they can embrace distinctions in opinions and views as well as include people falling in a broad spectrum. It enables making rational decisions.

6. Reduces stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety are considered to be the by-products of communication. However, this can be proved untrue by adopting a particular way of communication. It involves confidence, honesty, and respectfulness.

That is why it supports your conscience and helps you conduct yourself better. You are not scared of putting your views out there, and that helps in better communication.

How to be Assertive?

Ways of Developing Assertiveness Skills

Developing assertiveness skills is simple and easy if you do it with dedication and concentration. There are many ways of developing these skills, like some of them are given below-

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1. Share your thoughts clearly

If you keep on shying away from speaking clearly, you will not be able to train yourself in assertiveness skills. That is why you need to speak up with confidence and without any hesitance.

2. Practice your speech:

It might seem wrong to script speeches, but it is not everyone’s cup of tea to speak impromptu. If you want to say something important, you can script the points out and practice how you are going to put it across.

3. Develop emotional intelligence:

Emotional intelligence is the key to healthy assertive communication. Passive and aggressive people do face emotional turmoil, and that is the reason they behave in a specific manner.

Hence, you need to strengthen your emotionality to develop assertiveness.

Eliminating Unassertive Behaviors

For being an assertive individual, you need to eliminate some of the unassertive characteristics. Let us have a look upon those as well-

  • Avoid passive behaviors like speaking too softly, avoiding eye contact, minimizing your own needs, being indecisive, slouching, etc.
  • Avoid weak and passive gestures like preening, fawning, fidgeting, scratching, putting hands in pockets, etc.
  • Avoid passive speech patterns like putting yourself down, making frequent apologies or justifications, rambling or uncertain statements, etc.

Final Thoughts!

Assertiveness skills are of great advantage, and these are useful in workplaces as well as personal spaces. One can devote time and resources to develop these skills.  

Assertive people comprise positive self-esteem, and they also prefer liking and valuing themselves. By incorporating assertiveness, they also enjoy better control in their lives. Assertiveness also ensures fulfilling relationships for such people because of their open communication and mutual respect.

By being assertive, you will be able to express your feelings without any sort of guilt, plus you will also be taking responsibility for your feelings, and you won’t be making excuses or blaming others. This empowers you to stand for yourself and exercise your rights, plus also recognizing others’ rights as well.

Finally, assertiveness skills will enable you to look a person in the eye and share your views in a confident but non-threatening tone. It will, for sure, offer you win-win outcomes in your personal as well as professional life.

So, what do you think about the role of assertiveness in our lives? Share your views with us in the comments.

Liked this post? Check out the complete series on Skills

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  3. What Are Professional Skills -A Complete List of Must-Have Professional Skills
  4. Soft Skills: List of Soft Skills and Its Importance
  5. What is the difference between Hard Skills and Soft Skills?
  6. What are Essential Skills? 8 Essential Skills you should know
  7. Transferable Skills: List of Skills which can be Transferred
  8. Teaching Skills | Essential skills every teacher needs
  9. Study Skills – Definition, Types, and Importance
  10. Life Skills | Meaning, Concept, Types

About Hitesh Bhasin

Hitesh Bhasin is the Founder of Marketing91 and has over a decade of experience in the marketing field. He is an accomplished author of thousands of insightful articles, including in-depth analyses of brands and companies. Holding an MBA in Marketing, Hitesh manages several offline ventures, where he applies all the concepts of Marketing that he writes about.

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